Birthday Wishlist

Huwaa.. Ga kerasa taunya sebentar lagi saya akan ulang tahun.. Meskipun banyak yang bilang: makin tuaa woii! Tapi jujur, entah kenapa saya malah merasa luar biasa senang.. Usia 24 dalam bayang saya adalah wanita muda yang sedang berada di puncak dunia.. Menjadi bebas,, liar,, mencari tempatnya di muka bumi.. *terbayang karakter Kate Hudson di film Almost Famous* ..

Anyway,, here’s my birthday wislist:

1. A cake on my front door exactly at midnight.

2. Blower

3. Books

 

   

4. Bunny..

5. Coffee Grinder

6. Mendapat ucapan selamat ulang tahun dari keluarga dan teman-teman tercinta..

Can’t wait for my Birthday!!

*Ilalang..

Beliau memandang taman yg terbengkalai tak teratur itu dengan mata penuh kesedihan. Angin yg dengan genitny menari bersama ilalang, membawa partikel” kenangan melintasi mata beliau yg kebasahan. “Kelilipan” elaknya, kembali menatap padang ilalang yg menyita memorinya. Menculiknya kembali ke masa lalu.

“Tatung (panggilan kakek) dulu waktu bapak masih kecil, bikin wayang dari itu tu de”, katanya sambil menunjuk ilalang yg bangun merunduk terhembus udara lembap yg sedang menjemput hujan.

Lucu, bagaimana satu batang kecil ilalang yang kecil dan rapuh dapat dengan kuatnya menarik beliau berpindah masa, seperti sebuah pintu waktu dengan energi kuantumnya yang mampu melengkungkan detik” yang membentuk saat sekarang dan mengantarnya pada cuplikan ketika ayah beliau memainkan wayang ilalangnya pada malam gelap hanya dengan lilin sebagai penerang menghibur anak”ny agar mungkin dapat melupakan lambung” kecil mereka yg kelaparan.

Memory itu seperti kawan lama yg punya kebiasaan “makan temen”. Seseorang yg slalu disana untuk mengingatkan tanpa benar” peduli perasaanmu. Kadang datang pada kesendirian saat membaca buku, kadang datang pada kesibukan yg melelahkan dan lupa waktu. Seperti pada film “Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind”, memory tidak menghilangkan perasaan. Bahkan ketika seluruh memory dihapus dari perangkat kerasnya, perasaan itu akan tetap tinggal, memendam dan siap menyergap tiba” ketika bahkan hal sekecil ilalang muncul di hadapan. Dan kembali menhantar stunami memory itu seperti tanggul jebol yg membanjiri ruang pikiran.

Memory is a powerful thing. It can bring you to the past in a blink of an eye and bring you back again. With just a distinct taste and maybe a familiar scent in the back of your head. That stuck there to once again remind you that you’re alive and grown and present.

*By a grape..

David Sedaris, in his essay “The Monster Mash” said, I quoted, “that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.”

Hidup kita bisa berakhir hanya dengan kepeleset buah anggur di super market. Begitu tulis Sedaris, dan saya pikir: Ya! Itu yg coba ditekankan orang tua, para guru, dan mentor saya, bahwa setiap saat adalah moment yg harus dimanfaatkan dan dibentuk menjadi sebuah kesempatan. Bahwa hari ini, tidak akan pernah kita temui lagi.

Orang” bahkan rekan kerja kerap bertanya, kenapa saya yang tukang pesawat ini kok terdampar di sebuah bank. Saya juga tidak mengerti. Selama ini saya pikir pilihan ini saya ambil hanya sebagai aksi depresi saya setelah 3bulan jadi pengangguran. Tapi kalau dipikir lagi? Mungkin sebenarny saya telah mengubah moment ketika saya diterima sebagai sebuah kesempatan untuk sesuatu yg lebih besar.

Budaya kita sepertinya selalu mengajarkan perilaku “masih untung”. Si A kecelakaan mobil kemaren malam dan komentarnya: “masih untung selamet”. Bagus, membentuk pribadi yg optimis.

Tapi tunggu…
Jangan” penerimaan yg saya anggap “kesempatan” ini sebenarnya murni kesialan semata. Seperti buah anggur yg bisa bikin kepeleset dan bahkan mati.

Rahaha. Tapi saya masih bekerja, sudah hampir setahun dan masih perlu banyak belajar. Mungkin makna essay tadi buat saya lebih simple dari “make the best of everything you do”. Maknanya buat saya, jangan terlalu berhati”, jangan takut”an, life’s too short, enjoy while you have it.

Jangan sampe nanti ketika saya belanja di supermarket dan terpeleset anggur, saya hanya pulang dengan sakit pada bokong saya. Setidaknya saya juga harus bawa pulang anggur itu dan menikmatinya di rumah.

Tanpa kiasan, saya cuma mau bilang: let’s have fun till you’re drunk with love and happiness.

*love letter..

I’m in the bus on my way home.
And its raining hard outside my bus window.
There’s a song by david foster, “when I’m fall in love” sang by Nathalie Cole & Ruben Studard filling the atmosphere.

And by that, the moment just got right.
Reading your love letter with a goofy picture of us telling me you love me. .

Happy feeling.

*Quote (of the day)..

Keikhlasan tidak datang ketika keluhan tak berhenti menyentuh pikir saat bangun di pagi hari dan mengetahui apa yang akan kita lalui hari ini..

Keikhlasan tidak datang dari sikap kompromi dari apa yang telah hidup berikan dan menjalaninya tanpa banyak tanya hanya sekedar untuk terus bertahan..

Keikhlasan tidak datang hanya dengan mengerti,, mengerti bahwa sebenarnya keikhlasan tidak akan datang saat kepuasan akan pencapaian diri tidak pernah dirasakan..

“Tak ada yang kita punya

Yang kita bisa hanya
membekaskan telapak kaki,
dalam, sangat dalam,
ke pasir
Lalu cepat lari sebelum
semua beakhir.”

(Sajak karya Subagio Sastrowardojo)

: pada akhirnya, apa sebenarnya yang dimiliki manusia?

Mari bekaskan telapak kaki?! ..

*accident..

It’s been a while since my last post.. I haven’t been productive not because I got soo busy at work.. But because I had an accident with my boyfriend a couple a weeks a go.. Okeii,, that doesn’t sounded right.. We had a car accident..

*sad soul-consumptive back song..

We’re both fine.. Well,, my boyfriend is fine.. Me on the other hand are not quite so much..

It’s a funny story though.. And I love telling it to people that visit me on the hospital while I’m in treatment.. Hihihi..

So.. That night,, back from work,, Dhani take me home to my kost at Pejompongan with his (of course dad’s) car.. Just around 5minute from my office.. We hadn’t get to far from the office.. Just when Dhani take a U turn,, a clumsy driver cut in line.. He was shocked and can’t control the wheel and then hit a concrete roadblock in the middle of the road..

He got out from the car.. My door are jammed so I go out from his door.. He told to go to the side road and wait there.. I asked for his cell to call my parents cause mine’s dead.. Then I call my mom:

bu,, I had a car accident.. And blablabla..

Done.. And then I asked Dhani: have I call my parents?

Then I make that phone call again: bu,, I had a car accident.. And blablabla..
*my mom said I make that phone call about every 5minutes.. They thought that I was in shocked.. That’s why I can’t remember that I already make that phone call before..

Dhani was bleeding from the wound on his lips and I keep asking of his alright and does it hurts.. And he just thought that I was just in shocked..

Mas Agung,, and satpam’s from the office helped us with the car.. My mom told mas Agung that I had an accident near the office.. So the satpam’s take care of the car,, after Dhani had to argue with the police about what happened,, and take it to the office.. Mas Agung,, me,, and Dhani get to the 21st floor to rest and waited for my mom to pick us..

And then my parent came with Renny,, Oni,, and Dini.. I asked Renny: Nny,, why are you here? she answer: your mom called me.. And after about 5minute conversation I asked her again: Nny,, why are you here?

After I asked her again and again,, she’s gotten to think that there’s something wrong with me.. She told my mom to take me to the hospital..

And there we go.. To the nearest hospital to get a check up.. Dhani’s twin brother Dhanu and his friend Danson were there in the hospital.. I was still like a healthy person,, other than my short term memory lost,, I’m very talk active that night they said.. And apparently very good in english.. Rahaha.. I keep on speaking in english with renny and every other else..

Dhani was fine.. He could go home and rest.. While I had to get hospitalize.. My mom asked to got me a referral to a hospital in Bogor,, cause we lived there..

So there we go.. On my way out I still could joke around and told Dhanu that one of the nurses are cute.. Rahaha.. Then I get to my car and go to bogor..

And the funny thing was.. I don’t remember anything of it.. Rahaha.. My last memory was I got in the car to go home.. That’s it..

On the road,, there’s when I gain my conscious.. I asked what happened,, where am I,, and why my body’s all hurting.. I was so confused that moment.. I don’t remember anything.. Its all dark.. I can’t open my eyes.. I was dizzy and I want to puke all over the car..

So that night I got hospitalize.. Got my head scanned.. The next day the doctor said I had 3 internal bleeding in my forehead and a crack on my skull,, and my liver are swollen because of the seat belt impact.. My body is all hurt every where..

Then I got an x ray for my hips cause its all purple and wounded.. But it turn out okay.. Then a couple of day after that,, I got my spine x ray cause it hurt the hell out of me when the doctor pressed it.. And from the result the doctor sees something odd with the 6-7-8 section.. There’s a curvature that wasn’t supposed to be there.. Everybody got so panic.. I had to get an MRI.. And because there are no MRI in bogor,, I had to go to Jakarta by ambulance the next morning.. But after all the drama.. I turn out to be fine.. Just need some bed rest to heel my wounds..

For the first 5days I was told to not to sit or even use a pillow to support my head.. I had to pee in a pispot!! Oh my God,, it was so frustrating.. I was told that I had to rest for a month.. But after 10days,, the doctor said it was okay to bring me home..

I got a week day off to get total rest.. From my first doctor visit after I got out from the hospital,, the doctor said that there still something wrong with my nerves,, and that I have to rest and don’t do anything that including much movement..

So the good news is I am fine guys.. .. It was such a painful yet soo funny experience for me.. At first I feel so cute like Lucy in the 50 first date,, but my short memory lost doesn’t take a whole day?! Then I feel so cool like Memento,, but it doesn’t take me that long either.. Then I feel like Dory in Finding Nemo.. Ha! Silly.. Rahaha..

This event make me realize how loved I am.. And I’m so great full for that.. ..

But after that accident I realized that life could had end anytime.. And by that we have to make it meaningful.. In the past few days I’ve been thinking,, we only have one life,, and if I have to make a living out of it,, why not doing something I love.. I prefer a job that I don’t mind if I got paid or not as long I can do it.. Yes,, I know we have to pay the mortgage,, I understand that we have to make a living.. But life is about the choices we’ve made.. So I just had to make more option for me to choose.. Right?

So I think I’m going to go job seeking again.. Something that related to writing or movie or coffee.. .. Wish me luck!

*The Interview..

I have done my final paper for my evaluation test next Monday, so now I’m back with nothing better to do then browsing the internet and pickings up the phone and being “kacung” to my other colleges..

This morning,, when I’m reading today news in The Jakarta Post.. I unintentionally open The Weekender link and found en interview column with Andi Noya, Indonesia’s king of the feel-good airwaves. The “Oprah Winfrey” Indonesia’s silver screen (minus the expensive gifts). And I find the interview’s enchanting.. A list of simple meaningful question that could really describe a person personality..

So I decide to answer those interview’s question.. not only because I don’t have anything else to do.. But also because the interview really tickle me to think about what would be my  answers.. Here it goes…

I would never…

Touch a Gecko.. eew!! it creeps the h*ll out of me.. rahaha.. Okey,, serious.. Uwmm,, lets think.. I guess I would never be a Fake.. I am who I am and I’m comfortable in my own skin.. I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not,, just to meet the community’s standards..

As a kid, I was…

A snob spoiled little princess.. I often brag about many things even when I didn’t mean it that way.. my parents always thought I wouldn’t survive being on my own when I grown up because how I’m so depended on others.. but hey,, I think I could manage.. ..

Favorite journey…

I rarely traveled, but my favorite journey so far is when I take a one day round-trip to Yogyakarta with my beties Tamii.. it’s so spontaneous,, one day we decide to bought a train ticket to Yogya,, and there we go.. By morning,, we arrived at 3 a clock.. we dont even know which way from the station to go to the main road.. rahaha.. after we find our way,, we drink some coffee at a “warung lesehan” on the side road.. then we go to Borobudur,, Museum Afandi,, have lunch in Jejamur restaurant,, spend the evening winding around looking for merchandise on malioboro street.. Then we catch the last train to Bandung,, sleeping our way trough.. It’s soo much fun..

Best piece of advise someone gave me..

My brother once told me that being a grown up means taking responsibility of our own life.. No more whining,, no more asking somebody else to come and help you with your problems,, no more goofing around like some ignorant little brat.. Being free apparently doesn’t mean you”ll get away with anything.. It means to take control of your own life..

My aim in life…

I have once wanted to be the animator for Disney,, then I want to be a promoter for the president,, then I want to be a journalist,, I want to be a columnist,, nothing came true until I want to be a barista and I find a way to achieve it,, and I made it.. even in those 3 months full of whining and complaining I do enjoy being a barista.. It made me more in love with Indonesian coffee.. So I guess,, it doesn’t matter what I want in my life as long as I love it and happy doing it.. And right now my aim is to publish a book.. a good one of course.. that will move people who read it.. ..

Inspiration in my life…

I always thought that Movie is my muse.. Watching a good movies is always drive me to write,, to paint,, to sing,, or to do something related to the movie..

And in my career…

Humm,, I don’t consider what I do right now as my career for life.. I always wanted to be a columnists,, and an entrepreneur.. So my inspiration would be my Father,, he was a kind hearted man and a hard work entrepreneur.. He always encourage me to do what I ever I want,, as long I give the best of it..

I became a journalist because…

I think i might have to skip this question..

When an interview is going bad…

And this one too..

A question I would never asked..

I’m not a journalist,, but I like to answer this question.. When I have a conversation with someone I would never asked about their religion.. it’s private..

My biggest regret…

That I haven’t done any accomplishment in my life.. Many people my age,, have won a gold medal in the Olympic,, have gain the “Miss Indonesia” title,, have done something that engrave their name to be remembered.. Not only by the people close to them,, but also by other people who only know them by name..

I am happiest…

Watching a good movie,, reading a good book,, watching kindness being happen,, or simply by drinking my own made coffee,, and share that moments with people I loved..

And saddest…

When I can’t get what I want.. I’m such a spoiled little brat.. so when I didn’t get what I want I get upset and depressed..

I laugh at…

Anything.. I had a very thin humor nerves.. rahaha..

If I could change one thing about myself…

Smaller but please.. rahaha.. I dont think I wanna change anything about my character.. I’m kind of a b*tch,, but I could live with it,, as well as everybody around me.. well at least as far as I know.. ..

And about Indonesia…

For Indonesia to actually undergo its ideology.. Bhineka Tunggal Ika..

People I would really like to interview, living or dead…

Tim Burton,, I”ve been really curious about how he sees the world,, is it as dark as his movie?

Steve Job,, I want to know his vision of the future world.. and sit down and see it happen my self..

Yoda,, of course to learn about the force..

Biggest fear…

TOKEK!!

If I interviewed myself, I would ask…

How do you see your self in the future? and what are you planning to do to achieve it?

People would be surprise to know…

That I’m not a people person.. I might seems to get well with people I’ve just known,, but actually I hate those small talks you create when you’re with someone you barely know.. if it’s up to me,, I would mind my own business and being apathetic..

Most embarrassing moment…

When I called my friend’s name with his father’s name (it’s a high school jokes),, but then his father that were standing right beside him turn his head over and looked at me.. I’m froze..

And proudest…

When I get my first job being a barista at Starbucks.. I thought that I was soo cool for getting that job.. rahaha..

Life motto…

Seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

end.

That’s my friend,, is what I do when I’m supposed to work.. .. maybe when you had nothing to do on your working hour,, you might wanna answer these questions.. don’t forget to share your answer with me! ..